Lost

9:58 AM 5/24/2006

Lost....this is the only word that can describe me now...if anybody in this country can exactly understand me.. i wish for it..but then.. to think it again.. i am lost..

i replied the email..got the reply back..i am speechless..do not know what to think of.. these days are really hard days for me.. for whom who are expect anything from me...just forget about it...

mentioning about commitment..about relationship.. i hate those words.. i am about to renew my commitment but then i found myself away from it.. this heart of me can't take any of disappointment anymore.. not anymore.. i am really tired to love someone that do not need me..does he needs me? i dont think so..he can get whoever he wants in his life yet asking me whether i need him or not? well i dont know, how can you know?...i just have my own single life...now it me myself? if i need you so much, how do i know that u will never leave me..that you are always be with me? how do i know? how can you asked someone in marriage that you know her from the everynight chatting??

i am rather not to think about this... still cant find the solutions.. and wasting my time...